The Sour Spades — Action Three

Everyone

“...Well, ain’t THAT sweet.”

It may have well been the same thing as declawing a wolf. Defenseless and reduced to their shifty wooden arms (which neither Ran or Lance could be certain would survive another swing, let alone breeze), the men burrowed their heels in front of the mountain face, forcing everyone to gather at the opening.

“What’s the deal, you two?” Cooed Mila. “Feeling a little chilly?”

“Knock it off. Truth be told, I’m not that eager to go into this thing, either…” Hyacinth clutched their wolf skin, attempting to gauge the scope of what lay ahead.

It was an imposing thing—of that, there was no doubt. At this point on the path, they had been advancing on a downhill course: despite this, the temple’s entrance far eclipsed the view ahead, shrouding Death Mountain’s volcano behind its magnitude. Its gate was fashioned with gray bricks, clashing against the dark mountain rock it carved into. The edges were jagged… unnaturally so. Ran took it upon himself to inspect.

“What are ya doin’?” Eclipse hummed, practically skipping up to him.

He dragged his finger over the frame, rubbing his index and thumb together. “...Eclipse, was it? Would you mind smelling my hand?”

Eclipse scrunched her nose at the request.

Ran sighed, unable to hide his disappointment. “I simply want *confirmation*, nothing else. If this is what I think it is, we might be a step closer to solving this mystery.”

Eclipse shrugged, deciding that she had been picky enough. Her ears perked up. “It’s a bomb flower! Someone was here!”

“Someone, or something.” Ran stood up, brushing a few stray grains from his coat. “I would advise the utmost caution, and to brace yourself. It’s likely that this entrance had been sealed, previously—and for some reason, was forced open.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Oh, yes, wouldn’t want to trip over ourselves in the mysterious dungeon that ripped our armor clean off.”

“You think it could’ve been a Goron?”

Ran remained silent.

“Typical. You know, I never expected much from you.” Lance took the sword from his sheath, taking a practice swing in stance.

“Goron or not,” Hyacinth began, taking the bow perched upon their back. “Ran’s right. We have to be prepared for anything.”

Mila stepped out from the wagon, the water spilling from her “chariot”, as she called it, evaporating the instant it touched ground. Despite the collective silence, she could feel the puzzlement of their eyes.

“What?” She gave a spin, accompanied by a playful giggle. “Never seen a Zora so dazzling?”

“HOW are you breathing??” Hyacinth began to fret, making frantic attempts at scooping water between their hands.

“You know, I can’t for the life of me tell where that little stereotype came from.” Mila sauntered around her companions, weaving a thread between them. She took Ran’s hand, using it to strike her head—he pulled away, pained. “These scales are *the* main ingredient of top-line armor! As for the water issue, we can survive quite a while without it.” She stumbled. “But I suggest we hurry. Give it two or three hours, and I might not feel so hot.”

“It’s settled!” Lance raised his blade forth, streaking the wood with insidious darkness. Though it was a void deeper than any they had experienced thus far, there lived a brilliance within his gesture that rallied everyone together. “Let’s go!”

And they went.

Eclipse

False Walls – Fire Temple, Ocarina of Time

Strangely enough, the first hurdle didn’t seem much of an “obstacle”.

It was a complete denial.

They entered a room no larger than one of Hyrule Castle’s prison cells. In front of every wall, a banner hung from the ceiling: red, with a golden sun embroidered into their center. Two torches were positioned at the sides of each, spaced just far enough to keep the fabric from igniting. Viewing it as a whole, there was a symmetry to the space that granted it a featureless quality.

At first, the solution seemed obvious. To no one’s objection, Lance, Eclipse, and Ran took a torch to the ends of each banner—engulfing them within moments. Their flames rushed up the material in a torrent, soon consuming the suns in darkness, and reducing the flags to ash. One might expect a door to open, or a victory chime to play: Mila sung under her breath, among these optimistic folk. But a moment passed, and then another moment passed away, and then they were left with divine apathy.

“...Well, that’s clear enough to me.” Hyacinth plopped onto the floor, figuring it would be a good idea to conserve energy. There was a considerable lack of… well, *anything* in this place. How were they supposed to work with that?

“You’re serious?!” Lance slammed his fist against a wall. “We dump all that water, and you’re not gonna do ANYTHING to help? After ten minutes?!”

In the midst of passionate squabble, Mila slipped away from the pair and toward one of the walls. She lazily stared at the two, idly holding a torch to the stone.

Ran stood at the center of the room, clutching his chin. Left, center, right… he studied the barriers, searching for some tell. Had an entrance been painted over? Was there some false brick that, when pressed, would expose a revolving door? Was this just a dead end, constructed to lure them off the trail entirely? No. That wouldn’t explain the armor: it wasn’t anchored to the ceiling, or anywhere in sight, so it had to exist somewhere within the dungeon. But he just couldn’t crack it. Driven mad by the implication of a deeper interior, Volkist started to tap his finger against each individual brick on the right side, searching for a button.

Lance and Hyacinth fell apart, breaking their conflict to witness their companion’s… fidgeting.

“...Has he gone insane?”

Lance sheathed his blade, brandishing his knuckles. “I’ll give him a point for this. At least he’s not sitting on his ass, like some of us.” He made his way over to Mila, waving her torch away from the wall. “Watch.” Cracking his knuckles,

TWACK TWACK TWACK TWACK TWACK TWACK!

Ran, increasingly frustrated, tapped his fists against the brick.

Thunk thunk thunk thunk thunk

Eclipse, tired of waiting, followed suit. She swung her paw at the north wall:

Clink

…Clink?

Just to make absolutely sure, she gave it another go. The same thing: a third, and fourth, and fifth instance all sounding a tone distinct from that of Ran and Lance’s impacts. The noise was undoubtedly different, although she was the only one who possessed the ears to discern it. If she were Ran, she may have paused to consider the possibility of a trap. It was so… obvious. But, being Eclipse, no such wariness existed. She stepped back. Her legs tensed. Throwing caution to the wind, caution being her every fiber of muscle, and the wind being the wall,

BOOM!

“GET BACK!”

The dust hadn’t even cleared when it made its assault. Flames spewed from the earthy cloud: the breath of a Dodongo, advancing upon the group. Just when the fire threatened to touch their weapons, the lizard flew back into the maw of the room ahead. A loud crack filled their ears, vibrating against an unseen wall.

Eclipse stood at the center of the clearing. Victorious.

Ran Volkist

Maze of Rolling Boulders, Flame Throwers, and Fire Walls – Fire Temple, Ocarina of Time

Were they able to afford the time, the group would have halted to recuperate. There wasn’t any joy in the view before them:

With the exception of the platform below their feet, the room was a wild, breathing portrait of chaos. Directly in front was a tall, broad hallway, extending into two diagonal branches at each side. Its layout was much harder to peg. Boulders thrice the size of a man patrolled the domain, rolling between granite stakes as if they had minds of their own. Thick, stony cylinders sprouted from open spaces in the room—rotating flamethrowers that turned in a set direction, like the hands of a clock. The question remained: did the stakes dividing the room into a grid pose any threat?

Ran took a step into the field, next to a pair of stakes. As soon as his foot hit the ground, he promptly retraced it: a wall of fire ignited between the stakes.

“...Well, that’s promising.” Hyacinth recoiled at the sight. Any contact with the flame, and it wouldn’t be very hard to imagine what would happen to them.

The group spread as far apart from each other as they could, trying to wrap their minds around the scene. Even Eclipse, easily the tallest of the bunch, found it hard to surmise the entire landscape: and even if she could, her stature would be rendered useless by her mind, as it was impossible for her to map out a safe path in such frenzy. It seemed hopeless.

Volkist stood at the haven’s very edge, the tip of his shoes barely clinging to safety. In the cacophony of sound, he honed in on the sound of his pocket watch.

The sway of the boulders.

The revolution of death—tongues of fire.

The dormant walls. It was impossible to telegraph which would activate, and which would remain silent.

With all the possibility of failure, and no second to spare, he turned to the rest of his compatriots.

“On the count of three, I want you all to follow me. Run.”

Mila beamed. “So you found a safe path?”

“Three.”

Hyacinth, horrified. “So you didn’t?!”

“Two.”

“If you’re wrong about this, and we somehow make it out, I’m gonna kill ya.”

“ONE!”

They didn’t have much choice in the matter. Ran bolted headfirst, allowing a healthy distance between him and the others in case he had to pivot. In spite of being nearly skin and bones, he blazed the path forward, relying on his mind to make hasty reactions in the face of sudden dangers. A fire wall blossomed, and he quickly turned. A boulder chased his flank, which he was narrowly able to avoid in a well-timed stride—two bodies of stone crashed into each other, halting them entirely. The heat of a close brush with death forced him to dig his heels into the ground, lest he were to jump straight into the clutches of a flamethrower. However, there wasn’t any room to stop: he lunged for the slim opening between the twin streams, barely making it to the end of the maze.

Thoroughly winded, he clutched his knees, head drooping to the ground. A hand clutched his shoulder: Lance, with the rest of the band at his side.

Before they had a chance to celebrate, Ran collected himself and made his way to the side of the door. He swung his club within its range: it flew to the floor, confirming his hunch.

“How did you know it would do that?” Mila, a little shaken.

“Intuition.” He gestured to Eclipse. She lured it down with a swipe of her paw, before shattering it to pieces.

Mila

Cornering The Flare Dancer – Fire Temple, Ocarina of Time

A scarecrow burned to life at the heart of the room.

“DUCK!”

If not for Mila’s swift call, they would have instantly perished. The monster took a bow, springing from the elevated platform to the far end of the room. Its limbs were wiry, ethereal: threatening to extinguish as it moved toward them, yet burning intensely as it advanced. Through the blinding spark of its attacks, Mila’s eyes latched on to something.

“Look!” She attempted to point, but was forced to draw her hand back, narrowly avoiding a deep burn. “Focus on its torso!”

Squinting long enough revealed a key detail. A dark mineral—akin to a lump of charcoal—bearing a scarlet spiral at its center, the only solid material it possessed. It was clear to everyone: if it had a weakness, this was it.

Hyacinth drew their bow, taking aim. They fired, a nimble adjustment from the dancer causing them to miss.

“AGAIN!” Lance charged forward, forcing the apparition to leap back. The others advanced upon it from different directions, allowing it just enough space to remain in roughly the same position.

Hyacinth released another arrow, this time striking it dead center. Upon its reignition, it donned flames hotter than the last. Reborn, it grew far more deadly, casting a volley of death in its radius. Mila was burned in the process.

“Ah!”

Luckily, this intensity allowed Hyacinth to blend into her surroundings. Another arrow planted itself firmly in the base of the monster, causing the fire to extinguish. As the heart fell to the ground, it sprouted legs—reduced to a shell of what it once was. But that wasn’t it. The rock vaulted off the ground, ricocheting from the walls with ferocious velocity. It was enough to carve dents into the stone, and very well could have ended up killing someone in a dying fit of rage.

That is, if not for Mila. In an instant, she skewered the core with her spear, driving it to the ground.

The sound of their breathing filled the room. Its core crumbled to dust, turning into rays of light that swirled together in front of the platform. The Flare Dancer’s corpse gave birth to a treasure chest: the reward for their strife, a pair of iron boots.

They collected themselves. A red light began to pulse from the center of the room: wordlessly, they stepped onto the platform. It raised them toward the ceiling, ushering them into their next trial.

Hyacinth

Lava Boulder Rolling – Earth Temple, Skyward Sword

It was perhaps the most daunting task yet. A canal of lava lay ahead, open enough to see the entire length of the room. There were two paths: a river that ran straight from their position to the end of the tunnel, with three straits each containing a bridge, and a path that curved from left to right to left, just wide enough to fit a large boulder floating in front of them.

Ran inspected the bridge ahead, taking note of a peculiar string that held it upright. He looked to Hyacinth.

“NO! NO, NO, NO!”

Pyrophobic or not, they’d have to take one for the team. The group forced them onto the boulder, which began to spin toward one of the many eyes painted over it. With literally no footing to resist, Hyacinth waddled the boulder from side to side, heart (magical, or not) jumping in their chest as it crashed from wall to wall. There wasn’t a moment of peace. But strangely enough, the lapses of fear fell into a pattern, granting them an ounce of control over the situation. By some miracle, they managed to balance the boulder into place, within the sightline of the rope. Arms quivering, Hyacinth took a steadying breath. They took aim. They shot: success.

The bridge came barreling down, sending a violent tremor down the very spine of the temple. In fact, Hyacinth was sure they’d fall into the lava: luckily, the boulder remained much more stable than the ground, though a few droplets threatened to jump onto their feet. By the time they collected themselves, the group was already across the bridge, giving a bout of applause.

The second bridge came down without much issue. The real issue, however, was in the third: just before they let loose the final arrow, problems gathered in a horde. A flock of Keese dropped from the ceiling, flying toward them in a cloud of violence. Hyacinth’s foot nearly slipped from the boulder in their fright—but they quickly regained footing, retreating down the path until the flock formed a straight line. When the moment was opportune, they threaded a line of four Keese with a single arrow: with the hard part done, they promptly lowered the third bridge, allowing everyone to advance to the final stretch.

Lance Blade

Pressure Plates, Timed Flames – Goron Mines, Twilight Princess

One last room. At first, it seemed no challenge at all. It was a narrow hall, with menacing flamethrowers obstructing the path. However, there was a conspicuous pressure plate directly in front of them. As a collective, they stepped onto it:

Nothing happened.

Mila glanced at the iron boots, left to the side of the entrance. “Never hurts to try a new pair of shoes!” She grasped one.

She grasped one.

“This is no time for play. You, of all people should know that—it’s *your* life at risk, after all.” Ran crouched to the floor, grasping the other boot.

He grasped it.

Who would have thought? It turned out to be harder to lift hundreds of pounds than expected—forget WEARING them. There was no hope of Hyacinth doing so, that was certain: being little more than a soul made them a mere fraction of the weight. The boots were much too small for Eclipse. That left one man for the job:

Lance clutched a boot with each hand, lifting them with relative ease compared to his companions. “Don’t forget who’s been carrying these damn things.” He slipped them on, stepping forward somewhat sluggishly. “Heftier than I’d like… oh well, it’s the best anyone’s gonna do.”

He made his way to the pressure plate, locking it down with his newfound weight. The flames ahead stopped, allowing the rest to move ahead.

“Come on!” Mila waved, a smile on her face. Lance could see as clearly as anyone what it really meant: time was running thin, and he had to move quickly if they were to get her to a hot spring. He trudged forward, step by thunderous step, narrowly making it past the flamethrower before it activated once more.

“That was close!”

“Don’t sweat it.” Lance wiped his brow, making his way to the next plate.

They cleared the rest of the path, Lance giving it his all to push forward and evade the fire. After the last trap, a final hurdle stood in their way:

A sole Lizalfos stood guard in front of five pressure plates. It charged, snaking its way over the ground and soaring into the sky before anyone had time to react.

Anyone, but Lance. In the same motion, he gripped the blade and jammed the butt into its head, launching it into a pit of lava.

“...Let’s go.”

They all stepped onto a plate, lowering them at the same time. A moment passed.

Colossal Chuchu

Storm Scourge

The ground gave way beneath them. They fell into a lightless chasm, able to hear each other’s screams on the way down. It seemed like an eternity, before finally, they landed into some kind of container.

“Ow…”

Once the hiss of pain subsided, each of them positioned themselves upright, finding that they were able to stand. Radiant crystals shone around them, growing from the walls—it seemed they were in a cave network of some sort, and that they had landed in separate minecarts.

GROOOOOOOOAWH

It came from above. The various hues of cavernous light illuminated an unthinkable terror: a colossal mass of sludge, fueled by an eye of gloom coursing within its body. Without warning, the wheels on their minecarts began to turn, and within moments, sent them barreling down the track.

But they wouldn’t escape that easily. A large strip of magnetized surface ran along the cave ceiling, allowing the goliath to catch up within seconds.

“How are we going to kill that thing?!” Hyacinth took their bow, searching desperately in the scarce lighting for some vulnerability.

“Calm yourself!” Volkist took his club, although he was equally unsure as to how he’d reach their adversary. “It won’t do us any good to panic! Use your head!”

A series of wild humps lined the tracks ahead, causing each of the carts to jump at random intervals. Mila was quick to take advantage: after a particularly violent leap, she thrusted her spear into the Chuchu. Although she dropped it in the attack, it proved enough to open a tear in its body.

“Hyacinth, now!”

Hyacinth fired an arrow into the weak point, spilling some jelly into Lance’s cart. Luckily, it had lost its electrical properties once it left the body, but it was hardly something to celebrate: the monster quickly regenerated, roaring as it prepared an electrical blast.

“GET DOWN!”

They ducked into their minecarts, managing to avoid the scope of the explosion by a hair. The Chuchu zapped, gathering energy once more: the magnetic strip snaked around to the right side of the cave wall, allowing Ran to land a swing, to the left side, during which Eclipse tore a considerable chunk from its body, and to the cave floor, which was much closer than expected. The giant slid just beneath their feet, roaring as it prepared another attack—this time, certain to catch them all.

Admittedly, the sight filled their hearts with a pit of despair. What else could you do, when demise was so imminent.

“HEY, FOCUS!” Lance called from the center track, standing suspiciously tall.

“What are you doing?!” Hyacinth grasped the edges of their cart, violently shaking.

“...I’m gonna jump.”

“WHAT?!”

But before anyone could protest, Lance had already abandoned his cart. A large crash echoed from the bottom of the cave… but strangely, it was accompanied by a muffled grind. Miraculously, Lance had stuck the landing—and proceeded to glide across the path, quickly closing the distance.

“But how-”

“I coated the boots in its jelly!” He grimaced, reflexively shielding his eyes from the gust of his chase. “Now, hurry! I’ll make an opening—you shoot the eye!”

But victory wouldn’t come easily. The Chuchu reeled its head back, before whipping its head with blinding speed. Lance crouched to the ground, placing one of his hands above the strip to steer his body. He took the sword.

VWOOM!

A successful dodge to the right.

FSHEE!

Maneuvering to the left, just out of range. With the last of his strength, he swung low to the ground, carving a clear hole into its body.

A swift stream passed through the darkness. When the light came through, they saw it: an arrow to the core, silencing the monstrosity for good.

#UGR3

#untravelledgoldenroadtc